Me being terrible:
1) Well if you can't flush the toilet, poop in the water outside! It'll "flush" away!
2) Thank God your Boss still is paying you to come into work!
On a more serious note:
Ahh! Thank God you live on a hill! Who's laughing after driving up that hill every day! I mean, you don't have to exercise and run up it, but who's laughing now!
Stay dry man, I'm wishing you the best!