General Category > General Discussion
Games vs Relationships
BellaKazza:
--- Quote from: Arseen on November 13, 2012, 02:48:44 PM ---
--- Quote from: BellaKazza on November 13, 2012, 02:43:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: Arseen on November 13, 2012, 01:17:13 PM ---
You are wrong you should never have to change yourself for someone if she doesnt love you for who you are there is no reason to be with her. I will argue my point untill we are both red in the face.
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I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial. I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.
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If she hates your hobby so much that she can't be with you because of it... kick the bitch to the curb as she has something deeply wrong with herself.
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Well, you might look at it that way but I tend to see it as this. I choose my wife (or future wife) over my hobby, I forsake my games for someone who matters to me more.
Sure, I've played video games all my life and it's like they've become a part of me, but, other people come first.
WolfAlmighty:
--- Quote from: Arseen on November 13, 2012, 02:48:44 PM ---
--- Quote from: BellaKazza on November 13, 2012, 02:43:30 PM ---I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial. I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.
--- End quote ---
If she hates your hobby so much that she can't be with you because of it... kick the bitch to the curb as she has something deeply wrong with herself.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, I'm kind of with Arseen here. If video gaming were consuming your life and you were ignoring your significant other, I could see the problem. But if it's a part of your life and it makes you happy without being completely intrusive she should accept it as a part of who you are. If the games make you happy and she knows this and still refuses to let you keep them, she doesn't truly love YOU. Because likely if it weren't games it would just be something else. Everyone has something that makes them happy and loving that person means, at the very least, accepting that about them simply because you want them to be happy, as seeing them happy should make you happy as well.
I don't think she's the one for you, mate. This is really just the tip of the iceberg, because I can guarantee you this won't be the first thing about you she's going to want to change or have you give up. Come to a compromise or simply move on.
Arseen:
--- Quote from: WolfAlmighty on November 13, 2012, 03:00:36 PM ---
--- Quote from: Arseen on November 13, 2012, 02:48:44 PM ---
--- Quote from: BellaKazza on November 13, 2012, 02:43:30 PM ---I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial. I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.
--- End quote ---
If she hates your hobby so much that she can't be with you because of it... kick the bitch to the curb as she has something deeply wrong with herself.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, I'm kind of with Arseen here. If video gaming were consuming your life and you were ignoring your significant other, I could see the problem. But if it's a part of your life and it makes you happy without being completely intrusive she should accept it as a part of who you are. If the games make you happy and she knows this and still refuses to let you keep them, she doesn't truly love YOU. Because likely if it weren't games it would just be something else. Everyone has something that makes them happy and loving that person means, at the very least, accepting that about them simply because you want them to be happy, as seeing them happy should make you happy as well.
I don't think she's the one for you, mate. This is really just the tip of the iceberg, because I can guarantee you this won't be the first thing about you she's going to want to change or have you give up. Come to a compromise or simply move on.
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Thank you.
This is what I meant that there is something wrong deep in her.
wiggy:
This is a battle that can't be won, ladies and gents. In the end, everyone is gonna do what they think is best for themselves, no matter what.
I've dated plenty of girls that liked playing games, either as something that they chose to do before meeting me, or after meeting me and being subjected to it as a result. In fact, my wife is the only serious relationship that I've ever been in where she absolutely does NOT like games and has zero desire to give them a change. Buuuuut, she is more than accepting of it as a hobby and has NEVER given me grief about it. Game playing and collecting has been part of my life for roughly 30 years. It's not something that I would give up in order to satisfy anyone else. For me, that would cause resentment, and that would just end up killing the relationship in the long run.
As a person who's been with their spouse for 11 years and feels even more in love with that her today than I ever did before as a result of our own meaningful personal growth, acceptance, and ability to communicate in healthy, productive ways, I feel somewhat justified in leaving this little tidbit of advice.
Don't make any significant lifestyle change for someone else exclusively because they want you to. It doesn't work, will inevitably resurface, and when it does, you can bet your bottom dollar that it will only cause misery. There absolutely NEEDS to be a desire, no matter how small, to make these changes for yourself. It needs to be for you on some level. On top of that, learn to choose your battles. Does he/she leave their dirty socks on the bedroom floor every night? Does that make you nuts? Is it worth a huge battle? Some things simply aren't worth the headache.
I do indeed leave my socks on the floor around the house, but my wife always leaves kitchen and dresser drawers open after use. Neither is relationship ending and we've both made peace with it. Some thing aren't worth it. Save the battles for something that REALLY matters.
--- Quote from: WolfAlmighty on November 13, 2012, 03:00:36 PM ---Yeah, I'm kind of with Arseen here. If video gaming were consuming your life and you were ignoring your significant other, I could see the problem. But if it's a part of your life and it makes you happy without being completely intrusive she should accept it as a part of who you are. If the games make you happy and she knows this and still refuses to let you keep them, she doesn't truly love YOU. Because likely if it weren't games it would just be something else. Everyone has something that makes them happy and loving that person means, at the very least, accepting that about them simply because you want them to be happy, as seeing them happy should make you happy as well.
I don't think she's the one for you, mate. This is really just the tip of the iceberg, because I can guarantee you this won't be the first thing about you she's going to want to change or have you give up. Come to a compromise or simply move on.
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Very well said!
laurenhiya21:
--- Quote from: mojoeskateco on November 13, 2012, 02:48:55 PM ---Did both of you play games before you met each other or did one get the other into it?
My girlfriend played the Marios, Mario Karts, and Donkey Kongs growing up and will still play that kind of stuff with me which is cool. She will also try the more casual stuff like Wii Party, Wii Sports, etc.
She just doesn't get how I can play an RPG and I get that because even some hardcore gamers don't like them, however I think I could get her into one eventually. I know when I was playing through FFXIII she would stop reading her book and pay attention to the cut scenes and boss battles and then would start asking me questions about the plot to help fill in the parts she missed ;D.
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We both played games before we met each other :>
I don't really think either of us have really influenced what each of us play game wise though... I have tried a few games he has suggested before (like Dragon Warrior Monsters, his favorite game XD), but he still continues to play the same couple of games (sometimes playing another one for a week), and I continue to want to play all the things ><; (pretty much anyway). It's not that he's not open to trying new games, it's just when he likes a game, he REALLY likes it XD