Author Topic: Games vs Relationships  (Read 528 times)

November 13, 2012, 01:17:13 PM
Read 528 times

Arseen

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Moved this discussion here

From other topic:

BellaKazza:

I picked all these up yesterday while my Girlfriend and I were on a date.

My fiancee would absolutely kill me if I was ever able to truthfully utter these words.  She is not a fan of my video game collecting/playing.

If someone is trying to change you she obviously isn't right for you.

In terms of relationships, no, you should change yourself if this is the only issue.  Relationships and other human beings are more important then your video game collection or any hobby, period.  I say this, if video games get between you and your potential wife then you should really give up the games.
Self denial is key to a good relationship.
-------------------------------
Arseen::

In terms of relationships, no, you should change yourself if this is the only issue.  Relationships and other human beings are more important then your video game collection or any hobby, period.  I say this, if video games get between you and your potential wife then you should really give up the games.
Self denial is key to a good relationship.

Fuck they are.
I'm single and happy, world is too populated anyway.

And besides like one of my patients said (92 year old woman):
Remember boy, if you want milk you don't need to get a cow.

;D

EDIT:

If we are going to continue this any further we should make new topic for this.

-------------------------------------

I picked all these up yesterday while my Girlfriend and I were on a date.

My fiancee would absolutely kill me if I was ever able to truthfully utter these words.  She is not a fan of my video game collecting/playing.

If someone is trying to change you she obviously isn't right for you.

In terms of relationships, no, you should change yourself if this is the only issue.  Relationships and other human beings are more important then your video game collection or any hobby, period.  I say this, if video games get between you and your potential wife then you should really give up the games.
Self denial is key to a good relationship.

You are wrong you should never have to change yourself for someone if she doesnt love you for who you are there is no reason to be with her. I will argue my point untill we are both red in the face.

November 13, 2012, 01:21:35 PM
Reply #1

Arseen

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I'm happy single, I don't need a "better half".

I'm oldest of 10 kids, so I get enough human interaction.
I enjoy being the wierd uncle.

I can take care of my siblings kids, spoil the, and then send them home when I gert bored or they get too wild. ;)

November 13, 2012, 01:28:35 PM
Reply #2

N64 Guy

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Ive got a girl who understands my hobby and actually encourages me. As long as i dont spend all my free time playing video games and or organizing and cleaning everything. Shes more then okay with it.
Completed cart only n64 collection in 2012

November 13, 2012, 02:18:06 PM
Reply #3

zygmuray

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Balance, Balance, Balance.

If you cant do this properly with hobbies, work, relationships, and any other duties in your daily life. Your gonna have a bad time.

If you sit there playing COD while your girlfriend is doing house work. Your gonna have a bad time.

If you play WoW on an anniversary/birthday instead of taking her to dinner. Your gonna have a bad time.

Just as she should be flexible with your video game hobby, you need to be flexible with what interests her also. You both need to be able to discuss and compromise.

November 13, 2012, 02:26:12 PM
Reply #4

GB

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i just get my wife to play aswell seems to work out ok  :)

November 13, 2012, 02:29:21 PM
Reply #5

mojoeskateco

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You are wrong you should never have to change yourself for someone if she doesnt love you for who you are there is no reason to be with her. I will argue my point untill we are both red in the face.

[/quote]

This statement is valid to a point but if someone is totally ignoring their significant other or putting themself and their hobbies ahead of the other person all the time then they're basically a douche (not directed at anyone here - just general statement) and it would be hard for someone to love that kind of person in the first place.

Edit -  if you are the type of person that always puts their self first then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship at all and if that's what you want then all the power to ya.  (again just a general comment - not directed towards anyone here)

My gf doesn't like video games but she's supportive of the hobby as long as it doesn't consume all of my time, attention, money, etc.

As long as I keep it all organized and neat she's pretty cool with it.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 02:40:45 PM by mojoeskateco »

November 13, 2012, 02:41:43 PM
Reply #6

laurenhiya21

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Both me and my boyfriend's major hobbies include gaming, so it works out well :>
(and we don't tend to worry about who's using the TV screen, because he tends to play more PC games, while I'm more into the console stuff)
Plus our game interests are pretty similar, so what I like he usually likes and vice versa (and it's just fun to talk about games in general)

So I can't really imagine being in a relationship with someone who doesn't like games, but I still think it's silly that people think they need to totally give up gaming for a relationship
If it would make you miserable to give up enough game time to make the other person happy, then obviously it just won't work. No point in making yourself miserable 24-7 when a relationship is supposed to make BOTH of you happy.
I can sort of see what BellaKazza means on changing yourself though (maybe?)... I mean, if you are a heavy drinker but the person who loves you just HATES that (but loves everything else about you let's say), then that might be a good thing to try and change that... Other than that sort of thing though, I don't think changing yourself for others is good :/


November 13, 2012, 02:43:30 PM
Reply #7

BellaKazza

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You are wrong you should never have to change yourself for someone if she doesnt love you for who you are there is no reason to be with her. I will argue my point untill we are both red in the face.


I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial.   I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.

November 13, 2012, 02:48:44 PM
Reply #8

Arseen

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You are wrong you should never have to change yourself for someone if she doesnt love you for who you are there is no reason to be with her. I will argue my point untill we are both red in the face.


I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial.   I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.

If she hates your hobby so much that she can't be with you because of it... kick the bitch to the curb as she has something deeply wrong with herself.

November 13, 2012, 02:48:55 PM
Reply #9

mojoeskateco

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Both me and my boyfriend's major hobbies include gaming, so it works out well :>
(and we don't tend to worry about who's using the TV screen, because he tends to play more PC games, while I'm more into the console stuff)
Plus our game interests are pretty similar, so what I like he usually likes and vice versa (and it's just fun to talk about games in general)

So I can't really imagine being in a relationship with someone who doesn't like games, but I still think it's silly that people think they need to totally give up gaming for a relationship
If it would make you miserable to give up enough game time to make the other person happy, then obviously it just won't work. No point in making yourself miserable 24-7 when a relationship is supposed to make BOTH of you happy.
I can sort of see what BellaKazza means on changing yourself though (maybe?)... I mean, if you are a heavy drinker but the person who loves you just HATES that (but loves everything else about you let's say), then that might be a good thing to try and change that... Other than that sort of thing though, I don't think changing yourself for others is good :/



Did both of you play games before you met each other or did one get the other into it?

My girlfriend played the Marios, Mario Karts, and Donkey Kongs growing up and will still play that kind of stuff with me which is cool.  She will also try the more casual stuff like Wii Party, Wii Sports, etc.

She just doesn't get how I can play an RPG and I get that because even some hardcore gamers don't like them, however I think I could get her into one eventually.  I know when I was playing through FFXIII she would stop reading her book and pay attention to the cut scenes and boss battles and then would start asking me questions about the plot to help fill in the parts she missed  ;D.


November 13, 2012, 02:52:03 PM
Reply #10

BellaKazza

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You are wrong you should never have to change yourself for someone if she doesnt love you for who you are there is no reason to be with her. I will argue my point untill we are both red in the face.


I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial.   I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.

If she hates your hobby so much that she can't be with you because of it... kick the bitch to the curb as she has something deeply wrong with herself.

Well, you might look at it that way but I tend to see it as this.  I choose my wife (or future wife) over my hobby, I forsake my games for someone who matters to me more.
Sure, I've played video games all my life and it's like they've become a part of me, but, other people come first.
« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 02:56:27 PM by BellaKazza »

November 13, 2012, 03:00:36 PM
Reply #11

WolfAlmighty

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I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial.   I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.

If she hates your hobby so much that she can't be with you because of it... kick the bitch to the curb as she has something deeply wrong with herself.

Yeah, I'm kind of with Arseen here.  If video gaming were consuming your life and you were ignoring your significant other, I could see the problem.   But if it's a part of your life and it makes you happy without being completely intrusive she should accept it as a part of who you are.  If the games make you happy and she knows this and still refuses to let you keep them, she doesn't truly love YOU.  Because likely if it weren't games it would just be something else.  Everyone has something that makes them happy and loving that person means, at the very least, accepting that about them simply because you want them to be happy, as seeing them happy should make you happy as well.

I don't think she's the one for you, mate.  This is really just the tip of the iceberg, because I can guarantee you this won't be the first thing about you she's going to want to change or have you give up.  Come to a compromise or simply move on.

November 13, 2012, 03:07:55 PM
Reply #12

Arseen

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I disagree here, if she does truly love you and just hates your hobby to a point where you have to choose between her and video games then relationships and marriage is more important.
I will give up things and change myself for another person because I believe in self-denial.   I'm not saying you have to, but those who give up certain things they enjoy for a marriage are those who end up preserving marraige and strengthing the bond between them.

If she hates your hobby so much that she can't be with you because of it... kick the bitch to the curb as she has something deeply wrong with herself.

Yeah, I'm kind of with Arseen here.  If video gaming were consuming your life and you were ignoring your significant other, I could see the problem.   But if it's a part of your life and it makes you happy without being completely intrusive she should accept it as a part of who you are.  If the games make you happy and she knows this and still refuses to let you keep them, she doesn't truly love YOU.  Because likely if it weren't games it would just be something else.  Everyone has something that makes them happy and loving that person means, at the very least, accepting that about them simply because you want them to be happy, as seeing them happy should make you happy as well.

I don't think she's the one for you, mate.  This is really just the tip of the iceberg, because I can guarantee you this won't be the first thing about you she's going to want to change or have you give up.  Come to a compromise or simply move on.

Thank you.

This is what I meant that there is something wrong deep in her.

November 13, 2012, 03:15:42 PM
Reply #13

wiggy

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This is a battle that can't be won, ladies and gents.  In the end, everyone is gonna do what they think is best for themselves, no matter what.  

I've dated plenty of girls that liked playing games, either as something that they chose to do before meeting me, or after meeting me and being subjected to it as a result.  In fact, my wife is the only serious relationship that I've ever been in where she absolutely does NOT like games and has zero desire to give them a change.  Buuuuut, she is more than accepting of it as a hobby and has NEVER given me grief about it.   Game playing and collecting has been part of my life for roughly 30 years.  It's not something that I would give up in order to satisfy anyone else.  For me, that would cause resentment, and that would just end up killing the relationship in the long run.  


As a person who's been with their spouse for 11 years and feels even more in love with that her today than I ever did before as a result of our own meaningful personal growth, acceptance, and ability to communicate in healthy, productive ways, I feel somewhat justified in leaving this little tidbit of advice.

Don't make any significant lifestyle change for someone else exclusively because they want you to.  It doesn't work, will inevitably resurface, and when it does, you can bet your bottom dollar that it will only cause misery.  There absolutely NEEDS to be a desire, no matter how small, to make these changes for yourself.  It needs to be for you on some level.  On top of that, learn to choose your battles.  Does he/she leave their dirty socks on the bedroom floor every night?  Does that make you nuts?  Is it worth a huge battle?  Some things simply aren't worth the headache.  

I do indeed leave my socks on the floor around the house, but my wife always leaves kitchen and dresser drawers open after use.  Neither is relationship ending and we've both made peace with it.  Some thing aren't worth it.  Save the battles for something that REALLY matters.


Yeah, I'm kind of with Arseen here.  If video gaming were consuming your life and you were ignoring your significant other, I could see the problem.   But if it's a part of your life and it makes you happy without being completely intrusive she should accept it as a part of who you are.  If the games make you happy and she knows this and still refuses to let you keep them, she doesn't truly love YOU.  Because likely if it weren't games it would just be something else.  Everyone has something that makes them happy and loving that person means, at the very least, accepting that about them simply because you want them to be happy, as seeing them happy should make you happy as well.

I don't think she's the one for you, mate.  This is really just the tip of the iceberg, because I can guarantee you this won't be the first thing about you she's going to want to change or have you give up.  Come to a compromise or simply move on.

Very well said!
« Last Edit: November 13, 2012, 03:26:07 PM by wiggy »

November 13, 2012, 04:11:17 PM
Reply #14

laurenhiya21

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Did both of you play games before you met each other or did one get the other into it?

My girlfriend played the Marios, Mario Karts, and Donkey Kongs growing up and will still play that kind of stuff with me which is cool.  She will also try the more casual stuff like Wii Party, Wii Sports, etc.

She just doesn't get how I can play an RPG and I get that because even some hardcore gamers don't like them, however I think I could get her into one eventually.  I know when I was playing through FFXIII she would stop reading her book and pay attention to the cut scenes and boss battles and then would start asking me questions about the plot to help fill in the parts she missed  ;D.

We both played games before we met each other :>
I don't really think either of us have really influenced what each of us play game wise though... I have tried a few games he has suggested before (like Dragon Warrior Monsters, his favorite game XD), but he still continues to play the same couple of games (sometimes playing another one for a week), and I continue to want to play all the things ><; (pretty much anyway). It's not that he's not open to trying new games, it's just when he likes a game, he REALLY likes it XD